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The Wedding of Jeremy and Amy Miller 

“An Organic Wedding”

This wedding is brought to you by Adrienne Disch of Le Artiste, LLC.

Both Jeremy and Amy are well educated and have earned their Bachelor’s degrees in Environmental Science. Jeremy went on to earn his Masters and is a science teacher for middle-school age students. Amy has been working with various non-profit organizations. I selected Amy and Jeremy Miller to be our debut couple for “Bay Area Weddings” because I was very impressed with their commitment and respect for our environment. You will see why…

How Did Jeremy and Amy Meet?

As many singles do, Jeremy spent a year or two checking out a few online dating services. He then came to “JDATE” which is a web site for the Jewish community to meet and network. In November 2003 he connected with Amy. After a few emails back and forth and a phone call, they decided to take the next step and meet. Their meeting place was Hobee’s Restaurant in Palo Alto. They had such a nice breakfast that they decided to extend the date and go on a hike at Purisma Creek Redwoods Open Space Reserves. They had wonderful conversation and discussed their desires for the next stage of life.

How Did Jeremy Propose?

Jeremy presented Amy with an interesting birthday present in January of 2005. It consisted of a card. As she opened the card it contained a clue. Amy describes it as a “DaVinci Code” type clue. There were to be several clues over time and she had to solve one before she received the next. The final clue was a box with scrabble letters in it. When she put the letters together it indicated a proposal. They were not together when she solved the puzzle, so on February 18, 2005 at Estancia Del Mar near the Pigeon Point lighthouse he officially popped the question. He presented her with a ladybug pendant as the sun glistened over the ocean as it set. As happy as they were, they decided to keep their engagement to themselves for a while so they can just enjoy the time together. They kept their secret until Passover when many of their extended family took a trip to Arizona to visit Amy’s parents.

The planning process began…

They decided to make it a weekend event. They desired creating community together with family and friends. To be true to themselves and their values, it had to be organic and environmentally focused. Out of love and consideration to others they wanted to consider their interests and values as well.

One of Jeremy and Amy’s main wedding goals was to show the best of who they are. “From the beginning, we envisioned our wedding experience as a celebration that brings together friends and family in a relaxed environment that reflects our values while at the same time respects our cultural traditions. We see the weekend as a model for the lives that we would like to live.”

They chose their weekend site, Costanoa Lodge, for its environmental merits. “”Costanoa is on a quest to reduce the impact of our operation on the environment in which we live and work as we are constantly developing new programs and methods to reinforce our uncompromising commitment to the environment and to social responsibility." This includes a comprehensive recycling program, use of recycled water for landscape irrigation, and energy-saving strategies such as use of florescent bulbs over the entire facility as well as fuel-efficient hot water heaters.”

These types of considerations also went into the selections of the meals they would serve throughout the weekend, the cake and Challah, transportation, their wedding coordinator, photographer, flowers, photographer, invitations, wedding favors, Chuppah, and Ketubah.

One aspect of the planning process that Jeremy was very disappointed with is the lack of resources available to couples wanting a truly organic wedding. Their hope is that vendors in the industry will begin to research more ways to accommodate this dire need--to be more environmentally friendly. These specialized services do exist, but are rare or not always readily available.

Amy and Jeremy’s Wedding Weekend

Since their 160 person guest list consisted of friends and family from as far away as Africa as well as from all over the country, they wanted them to feel relaxed and enjoy the weekend. The location they selected gave Amy and Jeremy an opportunity to introduce others to a type of experience they otherwise would have never had.

They started off the weekend with a morning bird walk, before breakfast, where they strolled through the coastal bluffs. They then had several hike opportunities from a 20-minute stroll out to the beach to relax, to a 3-hour walk through the trails. To get everyone involved with the festivities many met to decorate the Simcha Chairs with ribbon, fabric and fabric pens that were to be used to lift Amy and Jeremy during the traditional dancing after the ceremony . Other activities included a scavenger hunt, yoga, welcome dinner, Havdallah, tide pool exploration and a campfire Saturday evening.

By Sunday, there was a “great spirit in community.” The togetherness was incredible and some guests learned respect and appreciation of both the environment and the Jewish culture, since Amy and Jeremy did such a great job with combining the two.

The hour before the ceremony was quite hectic because of the “formalities”, and trying to get the pictures taken. The wind was blowing hard so that made it challenging for Amy and her veil and it was quite overcast. Then, as luck may have it, the sun came out just before the ceremony started. It was absolutely beautiful.

Amy and Jeremy spent the rest of the day exactly how they envisioned: They shared it with the people they loved and most wanted to be with. It gave them great joy to see their family and friends develop such a close community.

They enjoyed a two week honeymoon in Italy relaxing in the countryside and hitting a only few “must see” spots.

Special Note From Adrienne

Along with the “organic elements” of Amy and Jeremy’s wedding I wanted to share with aWeddingShop.com’s readers, the Jewish cultural elements that Amy and Jeremy had put together. I found this very interesting and educational as well.

Rabbi: A rabbi is a Jewish religious leader or scholar.

Chuppah: A Jewish couple is traditionally married beneath a cloth canopy supported by four poles. This structure is called a chuppah, which literally translates to mean "that which covers or floats above." The chuppah is symbolic of the home which the couple will create for themselves, and the sides of the chuppah are open to symbolize the welcoming of people into their home. The chuppah may be a free-standing structure, though the poles are also commonly held by friends of the couple, as will be the case with our wedding. These individuals represent the importance of friends in supporting a marriage as well as symbolize the community that we hope to create for ourselves in the upcoming years.

Ketubah: Literally translated, ketubah means "writing" or "written." The ketubah evolved from an ancient legal document that specified the terms by which a husband acquired a wife; in short, it was a sales contract. While this may sound terribly misogynistic in this day and age, the ketubah was in fact revolutionary at its time because it guaranteed in writing that a wife was entitled to certain rights, such as food and shelter. Fortunately, contemporary ketubot (the Hebrew plural of ketubah) tend to be more egalitarian and less formulaic; a rough analogy would be to think of the ketubah as written wedding vows, or as John Weston describes it, a marriage "mission statement." It is considered a mitzvah (loosely translated to mean "good deed") for the ketubah to be beautifully decorated; in fact, some of the most inspired Jewish artwork highlight ketubah texts. Many Jews choose to use a standard text for their ketubah, though we have chosen to write our own AND create the artwork surrounding this text. As part of a small ceremony that will precede the public part of our wedding ceremony, Amy, Jeremy, Rabbi Freirich, and a few of our friends and relatives will sign our ketubah as witnesses. The text from our ketubah will be read during our wedding ceremony, and then displayed during the reception. Additionally our ketubah will be hung prominently in our home as a way to remind us always of our promises to each other on our wedding day.

Breaking of the Wine Glass: If you ask five different rabbis you will get five different histories of this tradition. The glass that we break will be the same one from which we drink during the ceremony. To us, the breaking of this glass reminds us of how special and unique the act of getting married truly is, and that it is indeed a moment in time that is to be cherished and treasured, as it cannot be repeated.

Yichud: You will not see us in the half hour or so immediately following the ceremony because we will be in yichud, which is an opportunity for the couple to have a moment of privacy to themselves, their first time alone as a married couple.

Why are the Newlyweds raised up in chairs?

Yes, our weekend is about family and community, but Jewish tradition does not allow it to be forgotten that first and foremost the wedding is about the couple getting married! In Jewish tradition the couple is to be treated as royalty. Dancing while lifting the couple up in chairs ("thrones") during the wedding reception is an extension of this theme.

HONORING OUR JEWISH CULTURE

We are very proud of our Jewish culture and heritage. In addition to the above, much of what you will see, observe, and experience on Sunday will be traditions that link us with our Jewish roots and us showing our appreciation for the culture that helped mold the character and history of us and our families.

Yarmulkes (kippot): The yarmulke (Yiddish) or kippah (Hebrew) is the traditional skullcap worn by Jewish men. According to Jewish law, the kippah is worn as a reminder to Jews that "God is above." Orthodox Jews wear kippot all the time, though most other Jews choose only to wear them in synagogue or at events of religious significance.

Hebrew Language: You will hear a number of prayers in Hebrew during our wedding ceremony, most of which will be translated and explained to our non-Hebrew speaking audience (which for the most part includes Amy and Jeremy). We are proud to have Hebrew as a part of our wedding. To us, the Hebrew language (including modern Hebrew, biblical Hebrew, and Aramaic) is appropriate to tying the ceremony together, as this is the tongue that has been spoken at weddings throughout the history of our culture. Many of the prayers you will hear during our wedding (or variations thereof) are spoken at Jewish weddings around the world, and have been thus recited for centuries. This serves to connect us with our Jewish culture both in the present as well as the past.

Kosher Food: The food for our wedding is more aptly described as "kosher style." According to talmudic law, it is forbidden to eat anything from the ocean that doesn't have scales (i.e. shellfish), any four-legged mammal that doesn't have cloven hooves (i.e. pork), and one may not mix dairy and meat at the same meal. For those that don't know, the history behind these laws was possibly health-related--in the days of yor, food poisoning was common from both shellfish (eaten during red tides) and pork that was undercooked. As for not mixing dairy and meat, Jewish law states that "one must not boil a kid it its mother's milk." Why these restrictions? Some religious scholars suggest that "The dietary laws are designed as a call to holiness. The ability to distinguish between right and wrong, good and evil, pure and defiled, the sacred and the profane, is very important in Judaism. Imposing rules on what you can and cannot eat ingrains that kind of self control, requiring us to learn to control even our most basic, primal instincts."

Havdalla Ceremony: Havdallah is a short ceremony that marks the end of the Jewish Sabbath on Saturday evening. We will be holding a short havdallah ceremony after the Saturday Welcome Dinner.

Sunday Wedding: Yes, even having the ceremony on Sunday is a part of Jewish tradition, as a Saturday wedding would disrupt the sacredness of the Jewish Sabbath, which starts at sundown on Friday night and ends at sundown on Saturday evening. Jewish weddings may also be held during the week, but a Wednesday wedding didn't really seem to make much sense to us.

More Information—Keeping Eco-Friendly…

For more information on organic weddings, The Millers recommend the book, “ORGANIC WEDDINGS, Balancing Ecology, Style and Tradition” by Michelle Kozin

If you would like to learn more about Jeremy and Amy and how they strive to be environmentally conscious, please visit their website. www.jeremyandamy.org.

Photos By Richard Herbert and Laura Dippold of Fathoms Deep Productions

Amy and Jeremy’s Wedding Vendors

Amy Vanclef of Simply Organic Weddings Wedding planning/coordination
www.simplyorganicweddings.com

Costanoa--Location and catering
www.costanoa.com

Dana Gail Couture Bridal Salon --Silk bridal gown
www.danagail.com

Twisted Limb Paperworks --Invitations, announcements, thank-you notes (handmade and 100% recycled)
www.twistedlimbpaper.com

4imprint--Ladybug gift bags
www.4imprint.com

Adrienne Disch--Natural/eco gift bag and amenities basket assembly
www.leartiste.net

Stephan’s Fine Jewelry--Wedding bands
www.stephansjewelry.com

Shawn Cavlan Beauty Co. with Karen Nalvarian--Day-of hair and makeup
www.shawncavlanbeautyco.com

Zephyr Tents--Event tent www.zephyrtents.com Eric and Suzy Thompson--Klezmer and American folk music
www.ericandsuzy.com

Fathoms Deep Productions - Richard Herbert and Laura Dippold--Photography
www.fathomsdeep.com

Citizen Cake - Mostly organic wedding cake
www.citizencake.com

Fionna Floral Design - Organic floral decorations
wendy@fionnafloral.com

Annie’s Nannies - Day-of childcare service
www.anniesnanniesagency.com